Go For It.

(With the New Hampshire Primary looming large on this week's horizon, I figured it might be good to write on a different subject or two to cleanse the palate and provide some mental refreshment-for you and me-before going headlong into following the start of what will no doubt be a hectic political year.)

Earlier this afternoon, I read something. Simple phrase; very straightforward, yet quite poignant. Which made the fact I found it on a humor website seem a tad ironic. But all the same-here's the statement in question (I've modified it slightly to correct the grammar and punctuation):

-"Don't ever let someone tell you that you can't do something. Not even me. You've got a dream, you've got to protect it. If people can't do something themselves, they want to tell you that you can't do it. If you want something, go get it. Period."

That last sentence got to me-If you want something, go get it. It made me stop and think-"What do I want from myself? What do I want for myself?"

Never mind material possessions for this discussion-because I don't fling money on alcohol, tobacco, or any of the myriad petty pleasures of most men my age, I actually have the money to spend on the things I actually want-say, an Apple MacBook, or a Volkswagen. I'm not too concerned with those-I love that I have them, don't get me wrong, but in the end, these are just things. They perform a function. That's all. What concerns me here are deeper wants, more profound desires. So bear with me here.

I could say what I want from myself is to be successful. But that's common; quite frankly, everybody ought to strive for success. What I really want for myself is to make a difference in my world. A positive difference. The avenue that I see for that lies in politics, so I've set my career goal for the Senate. I don't know of any Senator, President, or Supreme Court Justice in the last fifty years or so besides Harry S Truman who has not reached one of those positions without a college degree. A degree of some kind is essentially a prerequisite these days to get any kind of job beyond those most base and banal of employment offerings, and my parents and teachers did not groom me to be content with being an assistant manager at a fast food franchise.

But a college education carries a heavy cost. And I'm not amenable to the idea of spending the first decade of my professional life paying off a college loan. So I made a surprising decision and joined the military a little over two years ago.

My decision is a logical and foresighted one in terms of how it will ultimately play out. But right now, it has been two years of a great degree of self-denial. I was among the top students when I graduated high school. Now I've consigned myself to falling four years behind the power curve. Living a fairly regimented and tiring life. Being away from family. Social life thrown into discombobulation. Relationships interrupted. It's difficult at times not to feel resentful about a lot of it.

Most times, I do what everybody ought to do, and I soldier on. Remembering just how much I've learned about life in these past two years usually helps me keep my focus. But, just like everyone else, I have my moments where I stop and I ask, "Is it worth all this?"

That's actually a question to keep in the back of your mind. All these ambitions and aspirations-things that will acquire the prestige that I seem to adore-my name on books, on street signs, and on the hearts and minds of people everywhere-yeah, it's nice. It's something to shoot for. But I do believe it means nothing if you neglect your personal relationships. Much as I want to make my family name known in this world and leave behind fame, fortune, and countless other gifts to a family of my own someday, I, ultimately, would take a happy family over that if I really had to choose it.

I've made no secret-perhaps to my own detriment-that I do not wish to be lonely all my life. My sole "new year's resolution" was that I would not be single by the time January 1st, 2013 came around. A confession: the want hurts. I have those most basic desires of any human being-to want, to be wanted, to hold and be held, and so on-and I have been forced to acknowledge that they take a greater grip on me as time goes on. It drives me mad that I don't do anything about them. What kills me is my belief that, if I asked, a "no", however gentle it tries to be, might be more than I'm willing to emotionally bear right now. And this dilemma, this internal conflict, can and has reached the point of physical anguish. (Think back to the time in your life when you had this feeling, and then think of someone else you know like me, and it's easy to see how verklempt that might make you).

In the end, though, I am cognizant that I am my own worst enemy. I am literally my only obstacle in my endeavor to find happiness by making someone else happy. Depressing, isn't it?

And then I read things like that little phrase I shared with you. And it puts a spark back in the heart. For all the annoyances and pains I've had to put up with, it would probably be wise for me to remember that my psychological endurance is greater than I give it credit for. And that a strong will is probably your most potent weapon in your fight to achieve your goals. Damn it, I have a right to get what I want every once in awhile. And if I have to use every asset God has given me, I will have it. I'm not going to ask, "would you be willing to start a relationship with me" out of the blue, right now. I know I'm not ready for it. But, one day this year, I will finally have the courage my conviction has long needed.

I suppose the goal of me going and pouring my heart out here is to inspire you to follow the advice of that silly little phrase. There's a saying, quite similar to it, that I first started hearing in junior high and, over the years, have come to appreciate: "You can do anything you set your mind to." Quite a few people-my father in particular-have tried to impart the wisdom in that phrase to show me that I could call on my own perseverance to overcome what I thought were insurmountable obstacles. The meaningful things in life are out there. You have a right to want them. You have the tools within yourself to get them. A rationalist I may consider myself-follow your head, because you can't argue with the facts-but I can't help but see the truth in the late Steve Jobs's piece of advice to Stanford graduates: "(H)ave the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

So, if you want something (or someone, if that's the case), go for it. And be damned if anyone should try to stop you.